How Empathic Inclusion Will Make You A Better Leader

When we think of leadership competencies, leads decisively, thrives in chaos, and seeks innovation jump to mind. They all are essential competencies of c-suite leaders. However, according to studies, empathy is the single most significant leadership skill needed today. We see the need is broader than a single trait and more universally applied than just in the c-suite. It is a behavioural competency — empathic inclusion, one of 29 behavioural competencies that we measure.

“Empathy makes me a stronger leader." —Jacinda Ardern, PM New Zealand

All leaders in an organization, including people who do not have a formal management position, need to demonstrate empathic inclusion. Moreover, it is a fundamental organizational need.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek

We find that people strong in empathic inclusion:

• act with sensitivity for the needs and feelings of others
• make a meaningful contribution to the betterment of society
• develop close and intimate relationships
• possess a well-established sense of identity or self-awareness
• tend to assume an elevated level of guilt for others' misfortunes

Why Is Empathy Not Enough?

“Empathy is a universal team value that promotes high commitment and cooperation in the workplace.” — Dianne Crampton, Gonzaga University

Having an ability to listen and respond with empathy is the interaction skill that outshines all other skills. For this reason, we define empathy in terms of feeling what others feel, understanding and identifying with what others think and do, appreciating the experience and emotions of another person. Think of it as stepping into another person's shoes and seeing the world from their perspective.

People who score high in empathy show these attitudes and behaviours:

• respect differences
• display warmth and acceptance
• develop rapport and connection with others
• are compassionate and considers a person's feelings before making a decision
• listen attentively and asks questions
• are patient in helping and coaching others

However, those who score low tend to be disrespectful and inattentive to the needs of others, make fun of others' ideas or questions—or bully them, are consumed with self and personal concerns, tell or interrupt—rather than listen; and do not greet, acknowledge, or spend time talking to others.

Inclusion involves bringing together and harnessing diverse forces and resources, beneficially. In the long run, inclusion creates an environment of involvement, respect, and connection—where the richness of ideas, backgrounds, and perspectives are harnessed to create business value. Organizations need both empathy and inclusion to be successful.

Your journey to becoming inclusive begins with a critical but straightforward inquiry:

What actions am I taking to foster an inclusive work culture where the uniqueness of beliefs, talents, capabilities, backgrounds, and ways of living are welcomed and used for learning and informing better business decisions?

Transform from Empathy to Empathic Inclusion

Here is how:

Show That You Care

If we treat individuals only as the means to an end, we will never have their loyalty. So, do not just consider them as a robot on your production line. Treat your people right. It does not mean being overly attentive or soft but demonstrates that you value people. Generally speaking, it does not take much to show people that you care. If you have a team member on extended sick leave or who loses a family member. Please pick up the phone and call them. Be genuinely sympathetic. It will mean the world to them. Sending a card or flowers is decent but take the time to call them. The call is something they will never forget. You do not have to pry. Just ask a simple question as, “How are you doing today?” will let them know that you care.

Be interested in their activities outside of work. Moreover, encourage them to get involved and make a meaningful contribution to the betterment of society, such as becoming a volunteer, coaching a team, etc. They will develop new talents and appreciate your support.

Show Respect

Above all, your team members want you to respect them. At work, this means that you:

• appreciate them
• value them
• admire them

Would you want your boss to respect, appreciate, value, and admire you? Moreover, if they do, are you more likely to be loyal to them, be more productive, listen more closely, trust them more, and willingly follow them?

Frequently asking employees to stay late or come in early shows a lack of respect for their personal lives. Additionally, avoid contacting them after work hours or while they are on vacation. Yes, situations will arise where you will need to, but this practice should not be the norm. When employees realize that you do not care about them by infringing on their time, everything you do about relationship building activities will seem superficial.

Asking for their advice and ideas shows respect and that you value your team member’s input.

Connect with Your Team

How can you motivate the team when you are out of sight?

It would be best if you were visible. Make your presence felt. Do not just lock yourself in your office for the entire day and only communicate with staff when you want something done. Above all, get out of your office and mix and mingle with your subordinates. Sit at lunch with them. Get to know your team. Pay attention to them as an individual, rather than just a worker.

You need to:

• listen to them
• give them the benefit of the doubt
• encourage them
• smile at them
• ask them about their family
• provide them with a chance

Add items to the list yourself. It is important to remember that you earn respect through your actions.

Empathic inclusion and listening go hand in hand. Listening forms, the foundation of good relationships. Why? Because it shows, you care.

Advocate for Staff

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." ― Brad Meltzer

As a leader, you are responsible for everyone who works for you. When your people make mistakes, take responsibility. Exhibit loyalty to your employees. In some cases, when someone makes a complaint against an employee, the manager is quick to jump in. Suddenly all the good work, the employee, has done is forgotten. Do not be the judge, jury, and executioner. In short, do not throw your employee under the bus.

When things go wrong, when people get laid off, or profits suffer, take the rap. No one trusts a leader who blames the little guy for avoiding repercussions. A trusted leader takes one for the team, sacrifices himself or herself, and supports the team to carry out goals.

Grant Autonomy

Knowing how much supervision to give can be difficult. If you give too little, people could be lost and unproductive. However, if you give too much, you could end up with freaked-out, demoralized or invisible employees.

When employees must get approval or sign-off on everything they do, it slows down the workflow. Leaders need to be able to trust employees to make the right choices, and employees need to feel comfortable asking for help when they need it. So, the right balance here is critical. Micromanaging is very disheartening. It breeds resentment and causes people to feel untrusted and unfulfilled…so they leave. It is essential to know when to step back and let your employees do their work is what they need.

It can be scary to step back and let other people try, and possibly fail. So, start gradually. Identify the least important processes, delegate, assign them and walk away. Compare the person’s skills to the risks of the assignment. An unskilled employee completing a high-risk task should be actively managed or reassign the project to a more seasoned staff member.

Give your people responsibility and challenges. It helps them to grow. Let them produce ideas. When you empower team members, it shows that you trust them, and they will not want to let you down.

Supply Learning Feedback

Use learning feedback rather than positive feedback. It is more valuable than positive feedback — it is feedback that your team members can use. For example, the praise you supply is something they can use to motivate themselves. This approach provides useful feedback.

Criticism does not fall into the learning feedback category — even if when passed off as constructive criticism. Your goal should be to give learning feedback. Rather than dwelling on mistakes or inferior performance, provide them with advice on what they can do better next time. You are as much a coach as you are a manager. An essential part of your position is to improve the people in your team, and criticism does not improve anything.

It is rare that you get to select your team. You tend to inherit the team that is in place. So, there are likely to be some historical issues. Accordingly, think about tomorrow, and the future. Do not wish for a different team. Do not think about what you could do if you had a different team.

When giving learning feedback is feedforward. Advise how the team member can do it better next time.

Be Equitable and Neutral

You likely have experienced favouritism and office politics. It is sad when employees can tell who will be getting the next promotion based on a manager’s relationship with some employees. Employees notice unfair practices filling job vacancies, disciplining inconsistently and even allowing leeway in work schedules. This approach fosters resentment and lowers engagement. Do not give preferential treatment to some employees and ignore others.

There is a difference between being equitable and being equal. Equitable is a sense of fairness. Equal in other contexts where two things are the same.

For example, it is equitable to allow some variations in starting times to make commuting easier. However, the total number of hours that people work could still be the same.

Share and Give Credit

"The best way to get people to behave well is to give credit." — Jim Dougherty, MIT Sloan School of Management

When the team achieves its goals, when the organization surpasses its expected performance, give credit to your employees who stand out. In the end, they are the ones doing the actual work. So make sure they feel the love. Do not brush over your team’s successes with a bland acknowledgement while automatically working towards the next goal.

I am a massive fan of recognition. Celebrate success publicly. Meaningful praise is one of the best tools in a leader’s toolbox. It costs very little, and your returns can be significant. Rather than only recognizing top performers include those who are improving or doing their best.

Furthermore, celebrate victories. Do not be a tyrant! Employees know that they come to the office to do a job. However, you do not stop them from having some fun as well.

Benefits of Focusing on Empathic Inclusion

Here are some reasons that empathic inclusion is a top leadership competency:

Your Staff Will Be More Loyal

One of the struggles that every organization face is keeping talented staff. One of the most commonly cited reasons for people leaving an organization is lack of appreciation from and trust in their boss. People leave managers, not organizations.

Empathic inclusion increases trust, a sense that staff are valued and cared about. Whether in our relationships or part of an organization, we will be more likely to stay when we are cared about, appreciated, and heard.

Staff Is More Engaged

When a person close to you sees how you are feeling or tells you much, they appreciate something you have done for them; you automatically want to do more for them. The same effect occurs in terms of employee engagement. Research shows that when leadership demonstrates that they care about employees, the reciprocity reaction kicks in. Employees want to put in additional effort. Somehow many organizations miss this essential, yet especially critical point when it comes to leadership behaviours. Successful organizations are aware of this fact. Their leaders continuously seek ways to notice, compliment, and show their appreciation to their staff.

Teamwork Improves

When employees feel included, valued and appreciated, they want to do more in their work. However, they also want to do more to help their co-workers. When you demonstrate empathic inclusion at the top, it is passed down throughout the organization. This change results in increasing teamwork and decreasing both staff conflict and workplace disruption. This collaboration means better-coordination of work effort and increased productivity.

Staff Is More Fulfilled

In the Age of Personalization, we define success differently. It recognizes that individuality truly matters: Success is living a life of fulfilment and excellence. Fulfilment leads to success at work, not the other way around.

In other words, the secret to success is the pursuit of fulfilment that leads to excellence.

The staff that feel involved, seen, heard and appreciated feel more fulfilled by their efforts at work. These employees miss fewer days on the job. The reverse is also true. When team members feel less fulfilled at work, they are less motivated to come to work. Their rationale is that since nobody cares, so why should they?

Increased absenteeism decreases morale, as coworkers must pick up the slack. They become resentful. This feeling creates a downward spiral in terms of employee morale and absenteeism rates.

More Creative Teams

People who feel that they are an essential part of the organization tend to risk more and seek ways to add more value to the organization. They move the organization forward by putting their time and energies into producing innovative ideas, processes, and methods to improve their work. Because of their commitment to the organization, they feel that their success and that of the organization are interrelated. This feeling boosts their desire to find new, and more efficient ways of working.

Concluding Thoughts

Some organizations believe that empathy is so critical that they send managers to “empathy training.” According to the Wall Street Journal, about 20% of employers now offer empathy training.

However, there is no magic solution that training alone will fix. It would be best if you went further. Start by assessing your leaders’ strength regarding all their leadership competencies, including empathic inclusion. Then build a customer development plan for each. We call the program the ladder of leadership.

Empathic inclusion allows you to accurately understand the feelings and motives of others and engage them. Individuals high in empathic inclusion are more trusted, as they build the confidence of others. People know that they care. Your ability to show empathic inclusion shows your team members that you are a collaborative leader. Over time, team members become committed and are intensely loyal to empathetic leaders.

Leadership is about people—full stop! Management is about managing things and process — leadership is about leading people. If you are not passionate about your people, you have no business leading them. In a perfect world, team members leave their problems at the door. However, in our not-so-perfect world, they bring them to work with them. We need leaders who will demonstrate empathic inclusion.

Sometimes it is the trivial things we do that counts the most. It is the simple things people remember: the thoughtful gesture, the kind word, the much-needed support. It does not cost very much to show employees you genuinely care, but it can make the most significant difference in keeping them loyal, happy, and engaged.