How to Manage Your Perfectionism for Career Success

Some view perfectionism is an illusion. They believe it makes them better, while others see it as harming us. They are both right. Like any high-performance traits, you must manage them and use them at the right time and in the right place.

For example, many writers struggle when starting to write. They fall prey of the ‘first-line-syndrome.’ These writers fear that, if they cannot catch their reader’s attention at once, the reader will move on. Furthermore, the more they try to find the perfect opening line, the longer they continue to suffer from writer’s block.

This example illustrates one problem with perfectionism. The writer is focusing on what is missing. So, he cannot make progress. It is one thing striving to be your best. However, it is another thing trying to be perfect.

Perfectionism Is A High-Performance Trait

“A perfectionist as a person: who strives for flawlessness, for a perfect creation, outcome or performance. They find it difficult to delegate, even if that means neglecting their health, relationships, and wellbeing in pursuit of a ‘perfect’ outcome.” — Linda Blair, Clinical psychologist

Perfectionism is useful when you approach it correctly. Establishing high personal standards and working hard toward those standards is a good thing.

We find that perfectionism is a performance trait in the benchmarks of many top performers. However, there is a dark side to always aiming high. When overused, perfectionism turns from a high-performance trait into an unhealthy habit.

Benchmarks with Perfectionism Performance Trait

Top performers in the roles listed below have the performance trait — perfection. The 179 positions below represent about one third of the roles with high performance benchmarks.

Strive to Be Your Best

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth.” — Brené Brown, University of Houston

Dr. Brown explains the distinction. Some people use perfectionism as a shield to protect themselves against the pain of being vulnerable. These people do not want to be judged or blamed by others.

Setting the bar high may cloud our judgment. So, everything feels wrong according to our lofty standards. As a business coach, I know that asking a person to lower his or her standards is pointless. They would like to ignore my advice. So, I ask them to reflect on the difference between:

• “How can I improve?” — healthy striving that is self-focused
• “What will they think?” — perfectionism that is other-focused

So, if you want to defeat perfectionism, you must first understand the issues behind this increasing obsession and then find strategies to manage your challenges.

The worst answer I can get is “your right.” This means they have not internalized the difference. They will not take ownership. I continue to work with them until they say “that’s right.” This response means they will strive to change.

Perfectionism May Be Organizational Neuroses

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.” ― Anne Wilson Schaef

One of the top organizational neuroses is perfectionism. Gustavo Razzetti describes how  perfectionism affects both leaders and teams alike in his book Stretch for Change . Based on his research, he notes that most organizations do not innovate not for lack of ideas, but because they do not launch. Their overthinking tends to paralyze their decision-making process.

Perfectionism Leads to Burnout

Today, the pressure to become increasingly better has turned into an epidemic. The World Health Organization (WHO) links severe anxiety disorders to the excessive standards we hold for ourselves, which leads to burnout.  WHO now recognizes burnout as a medical diagnosis. According to WHO’s Classification of Diseases, doctors can diagnose someone with burnout if they have feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job or reduced professional efficacy.

WHO notes burnout is not a synonym for stress — it is the result of long-term pressure that has not been dealt with by the sufferer or their employer.

Perfectionism rarely generates fulfillment. Moreover, since we do not achieve perfection, it is a disappointment.

Perfectionism Is Increasing in Young People

Unfortunately, far too many believe the myth that their lives should be perfect.

“Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect; it makes you feel inadequate.” — Maria Shriver

In the study “Perfectionism Is Increasing Over Time,” researchers found that young people are more burdened than ever.

The levels of unhealthy perfectionism are increasing by a mix of

• excessivelyhigh personal standards — “I have to excel at everything I do.”
• intenseself-criticism — “I’m a complete failure if I fall short.”

The effect may lead to:

• eating disorders
• depression
• high blood pressure
• thoughts of suicide

Our fear of failure and our desire to be loved and admired creates pressure to appear flawless. So, our need to please others has reached a new high too. We tend to hold up perfectionists as role models more than ever before. Social media increases the pressure to pursue and achieve perfection. The more followers and likes you get, the closer you are to feeling perfect. However, negative feedback highlights our flaws. In turn, this feedback heightens our need to be perfect.

Increasingly, people hold ridiculous standards for themselves.  So, they create unrealistic expectations for their personal and professional achievements, appearance, and possessions.

Perfectionism is a growing epidemic. Studies among North American teens show that three in ten exhibits some unhealthy perfectionism. This trend is also life endangering for people, as those with higher perfectionism scores tend to be more likely to die younger.

The Paradox of Perfectionism

Perfection is an impossible goal. So, you only set yourself up for failure and suffering. The harder you try to win someone else’s validation, the worse you become.

Lifestyle of Perfectionism

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.”
― Anne Lamot

Many experts have found that perfectionism goes far beyond an attitude or excess attention to detail. For some people, it is a way of life. They have a problematic relationship with their sense of self. So, trying to live this way creates and amplifies potential mental issues.

“Perfectionism is not a way of thinking, but a way of being in the world.” — Paul Hewitt, University of British Columbia

Dr. Hewitt’s research confirms that perfectionism is about perfecting our identity rather than about improving things, such as a project, job, or relationship. Moreover, an obsession with being perfect is an attempt to perfect our imperfect self.

Three Types of Perfectionists

The self-oriented perfectionist — adheres to strict standards while keeping the strong motivation to achieve perfection and avoid failure. They tend to engage in harsh self-assessment.

The other-oriented perfectionist — sets unrealistic standards for others like partners, friends, or co-workers. They tend to be rigid when it comes to evaluating how others perform.

The socially-prescribed perfectionist — believes that others hold unrealistic expectations for them. They tend to let others define their lifestyle. So, they feel crushed by external pressure and what they perceive as harsh criticism.

According to another study by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill, the socially prescribed perfectionists are growing at a rate twice of the other two types. Furthermore, it is the one most associated with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

So, we should rethink our relationship with ourselves and accept that we are not flawless. It is difficult to get things done when we have zero tolerance for our mistakes.

Perfectionism and Procrastination

A study by Gordon Flett, York University examined the relations between individual differences in perfectionism and procrastination in college students. The correlational analyses showed that the socially prescribed perfectionism dimension correlates closely with both academic procrastination and generalized procrastination. This correlation was unusually high among males.

Overall, Flett’s results suggest that procrastination stems, in part, from the anticipation of social disapproval from individuals with perfectionistic standards for others.

So, people are more likely to procrastinate as they believe that they will not mess-up what they have not yet started.

Seek Fulfillment, Not Perfectionism

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” — Aristotle

To manage your perfectionism tendency, you need to develop strategies to reframe your relationship with life, others, and yourself. So, rather than looking for perfection, you must find meaning, purpose and fulfillment.

What Is Meaning?

In his recent book, Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World, Iddo Landau reasons that the meaning of our life is a matter of value or worth, and not of understanding. When we focus on what is missing, we do not appreciate what we already have.

“A meaningful life is one in which there is a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value, and a meaningless life is one in which there is not a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value.” — Iddo Landau

At a recent retreat, I was learning about reconciliation and the teachings of indigenous people. One of the elements that stood out to me was the ongoing expression of gratitude despite generations of abuse. We started many sessions with an expression of appreciation for all the gifts provided by nature, family, colleagues, and others. Healing begins with a feeling of gratitude.

The 50 participants at the retreat had a full range of emotions and reactions. One of the most common is that we were thankful to be learning this because we never learned it in school. It was liberating. It was empowering. We had the opportunity to grapple with it together. Moreover, many were disappointed that they did not learn this along the way. Others just could not believe what happened in Canada.

Perfectionist Presupposition

However, of all the thoughts that may make our lives seem meaningless, the most common and harmful one is the Perfectionist Presupposition.  This is the belief that a meaningful life must include perfection. As noted above, perfectionism is a high-performance trait for about 30 percent of the positions we benchmark. Moreover, it is only useful when used in combination with the other performance traits for the role.

The perfectionist presupposition tricks us into wanting to pursue high-standards and transcend the common and mundane.

Disappointment Steals Meaning

Most of us do not reach perfection. So, frustration and disappointment tend to steal our sense of meaning. Below are the two strategies to increase the meaning in one’s life that Landau recommends.

Identifying

See this process as one of discovering what is meaningful for you.

“Many dedicate more thought in one evening to deliberating which restaurant or film they should go to than they do in their entire lifetime to deliberating what would make their lives more meaningful.” — Iddo Landau

Another useful approach is playing the judgement game to discover your micro-motives.

Recognizing

See this process as one of appreciating the meaning in one’s life.

Landau describes how his relative, whose son tragically passed away at thirty-six, had expressed her gratitude for the time they had together. While she acknowledged, at an intellectual level that their time together was meaningful, she was also able to recognize it at an emotional level too.

“The mistake most people make is believing that a meaningful life needs to be perfect — perfectionism does not allow them to see the value in ordinary things.” — Gustavo Razzetti

So, we must change our lens. Often, we tend to have beautiful experiences in museums because we adopt a positive view when we enter them. Furthermore, we can take that same attitude into the world. So, let us develop our sensitivity to be grateful for everyday things, including the natural world.

Get Perfectionism Out of Your Way

The energy behind perfectionism comes from our desire to avoid failure. So, shift your focus away from the disastrous possibilities to what you may learn from the experience instead.

“Do your hardest to be at the top of your game, improve every joke you can until the last possible second, then let it go. Do not overthink it. It will never be perfect. Perfection is overrated.” — Tina Fey

Our effort should focus on building our talent stack to meet the current and future challenges. It is about using situational strengths and managing the challenges.

Play First, Work Later

“Greatness and nearsightedness are incompatible. Meaningful achievement depends on lifting one's sights and pushing toward the horizon.” ― Daniel H. Pink

Think of the beginning as a warm-up, not the real thing. Pink, recommends writing the opening of a piece of an article or report without caring much about it. He suggests removing the first and second paragraph as the first step in the editing process. The beginning is like clearing your throat. It helps you to prepare for your actions, but it is not the outcome.

No business idea, design, insight, or article will be good enough in your head, so just launch it.

Go with The Flow — Do Not Judge

Once you have launched, do not get stuck with details. It would be best if you avoided distractions and analysis-paralysis. Pink suggests that writing a side note and move on when you feel that you are not writing well or going in circles with the details.

By keeping the momentum going, you avoid overthinking. Once you complete the draft, you may always return to your notes and perfect those parts. It is best for you to focus on making progress. So, enjoy the journey and realize when you reach your destination.

Launch Now — You are Never Ready

Some people find creating fictional deadlines as being helpful. When you must deliver a project at a specific date or time, there is no room for another revision.

“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.” — Lorne Michaels, producer of SNL

Michaels approach helped Tina Fey overcome her fears and perfectionism. Fey realized that perfection is overrated and unattainable. Deadlines also keep us authentic and real. Moreover, perfect is boring on live television and in life!

Done Is Better Than Perfect

Perfectionists tend to postpone difficult tasks. Furthermore, they avoid failing by never launching a project. Procrastination may be the result of ineffective emotion-management. So, we must learn to manage our fears. By taking small, manageable steps, you reduce anxiety and overthinking.

Concluding Thoughts

High performers, in many roles, share the perfectionist trait. However, these top performers have learned to combine perfectionism with the 20 or so other performance traits they need to have to be at the top. They use their strengths in the right situations and have developed strategies to manage their challenges.

By adopting excessively exacting standards, you may be setting yourself up for failure. So, recognize what is realistically achievable. Focus on doing your best work. It is best to recalibrate your goals when needed. However, do not lower your bar.

Work on making the shift from trying to be perfect to doing the best you can with what you have. It would be best if you focused on making progress, not perfection. So, be pragmatic, aim high and look for meaning in what you do.

Moreover, when you fail, your self-compassion can help you along the way. Eventually, you will get used to launching something that is not perfect. Like SNL, life goes on.