How to be An Exceptionally Likeable Person

Most people mistakenly believe that being likeable comes from natural traits. They see a likeable person as someone who is good looking, fiercely social, and incredibly talented. So, you are in good company if you believe this misconception. However, being a likeable person is totally under your control. Moreover, it is a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

“Some people are inherently likeable. If you're not - work on it. It may even improve your social life.” — Antonin Scalia

In a UCLA study, subjects rated more than 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance to likability. Interestingly, the top-rated adjectives — being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive — have nothing to do with innate characteristics. Instead, the top three adjectives that describe a likeable person are a capacity for understanding another person, sincerity, and transparency.

Furthermore, these adjectives describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence. Research data from over a million people illustrates that people who have these skills are highly likeable. Moreover, they outperform those who do not own these traits by a significant margin.

Our analytics show the critical behaviours that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so likeable:

A Likeable Person Puts Away Their Devices

It is vital to note that nothing will turn a colleague off like you are glancing at your phone or your computer mid-conversation to deal with a text message or email. When you are engaged in a conversation, it is best if you focus all your energy on the communication. Besides, you will find that conversations are more enjoyable and productive when you immerse yourself in them.

A Likeable Person Leads with Questions

The most significant mistake people make when it comes to listening is, they focus on what they are going to say next. Alternatively, how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they do not hear what is being said. The words may come through loud and clear. However, the meaning is lost.

A straightforward way to avoid this is to ask many questions. People like to know you are listening. Moreover, something as simple as a clarification question shows that are you engaged. Also, you confirm that you care about what they are saying. Furthermore, you will be surprised at how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.

A Likeable Person Is Genuine

“I don't try to be likeable. The worst thing people do is present versions of themselves to the world that aren't real.” — Patrick Marber

It is essential to be genuine and honest to become likeable. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward people who are genuine because they know they can trust them. Besides, it is difficult to like someone when you do not know who they are and how they feel.

A likeable person knows who they are. They are comfortable in their skin. They concentrate on what drives them. Moreover, they seek fulfilment. You will become a much more interesting person than if you try to win people over by forcing choices to make them like you.

A Likeable Person Has the Right Attitude

Most people have adverse reactions to folks who are desperate for attention. You do not need to develop an extroverted personality to be likeable. Be friendly and considerate. That is all you need to win people over.

Moreover, when you speak in a warm, concise, and confident manner, people are more attentive and more likely to be persuaded by your proposition. People discover your attitude quickly. They are more attracted to the right attitude than what—or how many people—you know.

When you are being given attention, such as when you are recognized for an accomplishment, it is best for you to shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there. However, when you genuinely pay attention to others and appreciate their help, you show that you are appreciative and humble. These two adjectives are closely tied to likability.

A Likeable Person Is Open-Minded

To be likeable, you must be open-minded — a growth mindset. By being open-minded, you are approachable. Others will find you to be interesting. Nobody wants to engage in a conversation with a person who has already formed an opinion or who is not willing to listen.

Possessing an open mind is crucial in the workplace. Your approachability means access to innovative ideas and help. So, to eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This does not require you to believe what they believe or condone their behaviour. It means you stop passing judgment long enough to understand what makes them tick. In doing so, you can let them be who they are.

A Likeable Person Is Consistent

Few things make you more unlikeable than when you are all over the place. It is essential when people approach you; they like to know whom they are dealing with. Moreover, they want to know what sort of response they can expect from you. To be consistent, you must be reliable. Furthermore, you must ensure that even when your mood changes, it does not affect how you treat other people.

A Likeable Person Makes a Great First Impression

“It is far easier to make a good first impression than to change a bad one.” ― Michelle Tillis Lederman

Most people decide if they like you within seven seconds of meeting you, according to research. They then devote the rest of the conversation internally justifying their first reaction. This information may sound terrifying. However, by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make considerable gains in your likability. Your first impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. Smile, proper posture, a firm handshake, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to ensure a great first impression.

A Likeable Person Uses Positive Body Language

It is true that how you say something can be more important than what you say. It draws people to you.

Become aware of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice and make sure they are positive. Your positive body language makes all the difference in a conversation. High-EQ people use positive body language to bring others in, including,

• using an enthusiastic tone
• uncrossing your arms
• maintaining eye contact
• leaning towards the person who is speaking

A Likeable Person Greets People by Their Name

Your name is a crucial part of your identity. It feels terrific when people use it. A likeable person uses others’ names every time they see them. Research shows that people will feel validated when the person they are speaking with refers to them by name during a conversation. It would be best if you use someone’s name when you greet them and throughout the discussion.

Are you great with faces but have trouble remembering names? Then have some fun with it. Make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, if you forget a person’s name, do not be afraid to ask a second time right after you hear it. You will need to keep her name handy if you are going to remember it the next time you see them.

A Likeable Person Smiles

Most people naturally and unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they are talking to. So, if you want people to like you, smile at them during a conversation. They unconsciously return the favour to you and feel good as a result.

A Likeable Person Knows Who to Touch

“It is through the strength of what is genuine that meaningful connections build into relationships.” ― Michelle Tillis Lederman

If you touch someone during a conversation, you release oxytocin in their brain. It is a neurotransmitter that makes their brain associate you with trust and other positive feelings. Your simple touch on the shoulder, a hug, or a friendly handshake is all it takes to release oxytocin. Furthermore, unwanted, or inappropriate touching has the opposite effect. So, you must touch the right person in the right way to release oxytocin. Equally important, relationships are built not only from words but also from general feelings about each other. Properly touching someone is a terrific way to show you care.

A Likeable Person Knows When to Open Up

Most people want to be more open than they are now. Moreover, we know it feels good to share with others. It is a nice feeling to get things off our chest, to get them out in the open. Often, we use our friends and families for this purpose.

However, be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions too quickly, as this will get you labelled as a complainer. It feels good to talk to somebody about things we are concerned about. Furthermore, it is good to be able to trust somebody. A likeable person lets the other person guide when it is the right time for them to open up.

A Likeable Person Balances Passion and Fun

People gravitate toward those who are passionate. That said, it is easy for passionate people to come across as too dangerous or uninterested because they have a habit of being absorbed in their work. A likeable person balances their passion and fun. At work, they are serious yet friendly.

Moreover, they still get things done because they are socially competent. Furthermore, they capitalize on valuable social moments. Likeable people minimize small talk and gossip. Instead, they focus on having meaningful interactions with their teammates. They remember what you said to them last week. This recall shows that you are important to them.

A Likeable Person is Self-Aware

Self-awareness is one of the 85 performance traits we measure. Self-awareness is crucial because when we have a better understanding of ourselves; we can experience ourselves as unique and genuine people. This awareness empowers us to make changes and to build on our strength as well as find the areas where we want to make improvements. Self-awareness is

• often the first step to goal setting
• being conscious of your strengths while acknowledging what you have yet to learn
• owning up to your mistakes
• admitting when you do not have the answer

In today’s competitive culture, this may seem counterintuitive. However, many people operate on the belief that they must appear as though they know everything, or else people will question their abilities, and then perhaps judge them.

If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that the opposite is correct. Whether you recognize your weaknesses or not, everyone still sees them. A person who tries to hide their flaws, rather than concealing them highlights the gap. This behaviour creates the feeling of a lack of integrity and self-awareness.

Concluding Thoughts

People do business with people they like.

Likeable people are invaluable and unique. A likeable person network with ease promotes harmony in the workplace, brings out the best in everyone around them, and seems to have the most fun. By adding these skills to your talent stack, your likability will shine through!